Day Thirteen... Again

I was emailing with my friend Bridget just now, and it got me thinking about seeing the follicles today. I understand that the follicles hold the microscopic eggs, and that those microscopic eggs are just eggs... and will never become anything else until they're fertilized. But there was something very special and exciting about seeing those follicles today. Each follicle held an egg; each follicle represented a future life. I sat there looking at each little black hole on the ultrasound and I thought... that one could become my baby. A few of those will hopefully become my babies over the years. I think today was the first time that this whole process really felt real or that a baby might actually result from this. Its kind of scary, because the more real and connected I become... the more difficult it will be if it fails.

Day Thirteen Con't

Based on the fact that the follicles were a bit on the smaller side and that my Estrogen levels weren't exactly where they'd like... Dr. Shamma decided to double my dosage of the FSH. It just means I have to do more mixing; still only one poke. And my nurse, Lori, said its looking more like egg retrieval on Tuesday.

Day Thirteen

I went in this morning for my blood work and ultrasound. It looks like we've got at least twelve follicles! Follicles being fluid filled sacs that contain the eggs. Twelve is a good number. There were four in one ovary and eight in the other. I'd be happier with eight in each ovary, but twelve is good. They may adjust my FSH dosage depending on how my blood work turns out. But overall, it was a good report. I'll go back in again on Wednesday. And it looks like the egg retrieval could be Sunday at the earliest... but could be closer to Tuesday.

Day Eleven

Not too much has changed over the past couple days. Injections are still going well. Although, yesterday Nathan didn't get it in quite fast enough and we had some bleeding... but it was fine. :)

My stomach and appetite has been a bit off for a while. And today, I've been really tired from the time I woke up at ten something?! And my stomach has been a bit more upset than usually. So I do think I'm starting to feel some effects of what's going on in my body. When I leave the house, I make sure I have a baggie with Tums, Imodium, and Tylenol. Oh and another thing that's been bothering me lately is having restless arms or legs. It has only happened a handful of times (and has happened once or twice last winter) but it is really, really annoying. But that is all very minor. And... I don't know if you have noticed, but I am no crazier than normal. I was told and read so much about how crazy the drugs would make me. I have not had so much of a minor mood swing. *Knock on wood!* I'm so grateful that things have gone so smoothly and I pray that this continues over the coming weeks.

On a different note... I had a wonderful birthday! We had a delicious dinner with our friends in Lansing... and their adorable babies! Hopefully we'll get another visit in with them before it gets too cold... although its only 63 degrees right now... which is flat out stupid. And our movie was great. It wasn't as great at 500 Days of Summer, but Adam was definitely a very touching and wonderfully made movie that I would recommend to anyone!

I don't anticipate blogging again until after my appointment on Monday unless something exciting happens. So enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Day Ten Year Twenty Four

Today is Day Thirteen, but more importantly, today is the start of Year Twenty Four. I think it must have something to do with the wonderful birthday's Nathan and I had as children, but we love birthdays! And Nathan is certainly making my 24th wonderful. Nathan has a hard time keeping things from me. That's why I got my birthday present... a new camera... a couple days ago. And last night around 11:50 pm. he spilled the beans about the birthday plans he made for me. Those being... we are going to Lansing for dinner at PF Changs with our friends Megan and Scott and their babies!! I was so excited when he told me. Nathan is always so thoughtful. And after dinner, we're going to catch a late movie. The movie is called Adam and its a Sundance winner... so I just might have to squeeze in another movie post. :)

Its seems like yesterday I was turning 14 and meeting a cute boy at school named Nathan Morgan. Oh how time flies.

So despite the drizzling 60 something degree day... I know its going to be a beautiful day!

Nathan took more picture while I was doing the prep and the mixing. So you might get to see those, too.

Day Ten Part Two

WE DID IT!!!! I survived my first injection. Nathan did such a great job. He practiced on an apple before hand. I know an apple is not the best practice item, but it worked. I barely felt a thing. Phew. What a relief! The mixing part was a bit overwhelming, but we did it.

The only problem is... what am I going to worry about now that, that part is over?!

Pictures... coming soon.

We got the Ok to start the injections... here we go.

Day Ten Part One

Today is day ten. This morning I went in for my baseline blood work and ultrasound. And let me first say that when I say ultrasound... its not the tummy kind. But those are both pieces of cake these days. The ultrasound looked ready, and now I'm waiting on a call from nurse Lori. Once she gets the blood work back, she'll report everything to Dr. Shamma. Once he gives us the OK, Lori will call me back (today) and tell me the dosages to be injected this evening. Today is the big day... my first injection via Nathan. Nathan was not there when Lori went over the injection instructions. But I do have a CD and pamphlets of "How to" to help me guide Nathan along. It doesn't help that I haven't actually ever given an injection either. Oh this should be lots and lots of fun. We'll take pictures!!

And to clarify, these injections are the stimulation drugs that will hopefully cause me to produce as many eggs as possible... somewhere between 8-20. My understanding is that this phase will last around ten days. I will go back in for blood work and ultrasound Monday, Wednesday, and Friday of next week where they'll monitor everything. If on Friday, the eggs are in fact ready... we're looking at retrieval maybe on Sunday. Can you believe that?! I can't. It still doesn't really feel... real. After a while of dealing with infertility... you just reach a point where pregnancy or a baby become this thought, an untouchable dream. I don't know. The shots will certainly feel real.

Anyway... I'll blog again this evening and let you know how the injection goes. Say a prayer!

A Non IVF Post

Yesterday was Nathan's day off. And it was wonderful. But the best part came in the evening. As many of you know, Nathan and I love movies. Of course we like to be entertained, but when we watch a movie... there's usually a nice after conversation where we critique the movie, how it was made, etc. I think it goes hand in hand with our visual background. But right now we live in a town that... well maybe doesn't appreciate some of the finer films. Example 500 Days of Summer. We had been dying to see this movie. Last week Nathan earned four free movie passes for working the Daily News booth at the fair. Well last night, kind of on a whim, we decided to see where in Michigan 500 Days of Summer was playing. To our great joy, it was playing in Grand Blanc which is just a bit over an hour. So we immediately jumped in the car and left for Grand Blanc.

The movie was even better than I had imagined. Oh it was fantastic. So many movies are filled with foul language, unnecessary sexuality, are overly dramatic, and simply predictable. Well not 500 Days of Summer. They gave you enough to know what's going on and get their point without taking it over the line of uncomfortable or inappropriate. It was such a lighthearted story of "boy meets girl, boy falls in love, girl doesn't." And the best part, the music. Every song in the movie, was by an artist that is either a pandora station or currently on our ipod. Everyone from Regina Spektor, Feist, and Carla Bruni. And it was shot and the story was told in such an absolutely beautiful and refreshing way. If you're looking for a great movie to see, this is it. And while movies like Julie and Julia are entertaining and 'cute' they are just always lacking something.

Doing things on a whim is something Nathan and I have always enjoyed. I remember in high school we drove by the interstate and thought... wouldn't it be so much fun to just hop on the interstate and head to the beach. We looked forward to 'growing up' and being able to, I guess some would call it, be spontaneous. And we have done that over the past five years. Sometimes its waking up on a Saturday morning and saying, hey let's go to Traverse City today. But we also know that will soon be changing (hopefully.) We do want to instill a sense of flexibility and spontaneity in our children. But we also are realistic and know that one you have little ones... it will have to be planned spontaneity. :) So right now, we are trying to value and appreciate our ability to go, go, go while we can.

And I have to say, last night completely took my mind off of IVF.

My pharmacy in a box

Can you believe it? Pictures. (Click on the photo to see it larger!) As you can see, the picture on the left is the box everything came in. On the right, you'll see lots and lots of syringes and needles. The six boxes in the back are filled with packs of vials as you can see on the bottom right. Each box contains ten vials. Then there are the pills and a few other vials. And this is on top of the five vitamins and meds I'm already taking. And while I have had some stomach issues, I have been in kind of a consistent state of... just feeling yucky. Its 9:30 and I'm finally able to eat something. But... it'll be worth it.

And since this blog is about our life, not just IVF... I wanted to post a link to Nathan's blog. (Click on the word 'blog') He had a very busy week doing his own job and project, but also covering for his boss while he was on vacation. But he managed to do a Fair Folks project like last year where he takes portraits of different people he finds at the fair. It turned out really great! ... as always.

Day Six

Last night was a dream filled night, mostly dreams about injections! I honestly cannot wait to start the injections so I can stop thinking about the injections. Its really the last major unknown of this process. I already know what the egg retrieval will be like in Rochester Hills as well as the transfer. Now... its just a matter of getting through all the injections and any potential side effects. There will be a bunch of ultrasounds and blood work as well... but that's easy stuff.

And my nurse, Lori, called and said I did not need to both coming in on Monday for a follow up since I'll likely be in on Wednesday for my base line appointment. So I'm assuming the polyps checked out and had no effect on the progress.

And I promise there will be pictures coming of my pharmacy in a box. Nathan. But.... I am getting a new camera for my birthday so I will finally be able to just take the pictures myself!

Day Four Part Two

Day Four... Today's surgery went well. I thought it would be a bit more like my past procedures... but this was definitely surgery. Once I realized this, I was a bit nervous. I was in the full blue gown, shower cap, and booty outfit hooked to an IV. The nurses were doing their thing, Dr. Shamma came in briefly to say good morning, and the anesthesiologist had me take two shots of something awful to drink. Then I waited in a cold room with who knows what running through my veins. It was at that point, that I began to slightly freak out. I just wanted to go home and curl up with my down comforter. My nerves started getting the best of me. Finally, they came in and walked me into the OR.

I got settled in to the really weird, table/chair/recliner and was tilted kind of upside down. My bff aka the anesthesiologist said something about vacation, I remember thinking Kentucky, and I was out. The next thing I remember I was in a different bed, in a different room, with an oxygen mask over my face.

The waking up period really stunk. I vaguely remember Dr. Shamma coming in and saying I did well and that he removed some polyps and sent them to the lab. By this point, I just wanted to wake up and get my juice and graham crackers and leave. I was having some nice cramping so they put a final dose of pain killers in my IV. Then I was finally able to leave.

It didn't take long before I was feeling awake and normal. I still have some post op instructions to follow, but overall I feel very well. And this process will be very similar to the egg retrieval, so its good to have a better idea of what to expect.

And it was pretty cool seeing where my baby/babies will be 'made.'

Next steps... stop birth control pills on Saturday and follow up appointment on Monday.

Thank you for your prayers and support!

Day Four Part One

I'm glad to report (and knock on wood) that I have not yet had any side effects of the Lupron injection. I imagine side effects can and likely will present themselves as it works in my body, but so far so good. One procedure prep I had to do last night (I'll happily spare you the details) was likely to cause extreme cramping and bleeding. I did end up taking two doses of pain killers that had been prescribed to deal with the cramping, but I only felt moderate cramps and no bleeding. YAY! I'm making sure that everything I do or take is done exactly as prescribed. If it suggests taking with milk, you'd better believe I'll be taking it with milk.

Now it time to get ready for Day Four. Marcia is picking me at 9:00 for my 11:30 procedures. Please pray that all looks good and goes well. I'll be sure to blog when I get home or at least when I'm feeling up for it.

Day Three Con't

Yesterday I ordered all the meds I'll be needing for the duration of this process from a company affiliated with Walgreens that is supposedly the cheapest place to get these drugs. I'll let you use your imagine as to the cost. They arrived today via FedEx in a 1.5 x 1.5 ft box. I opened it up and just stared in. It looked more like I should start stocking shelves. There were a couple bags of syringes, needles, pill bottles, boxes of vials... plus an educational CD and a nice stack of papers. When I said, all the med talk was overwhelming... yeah. I will definitely have Nathan take a picture of my pharmacy in a box. I'm no longer worried about the pokes, but about what to poke where and when!

Day Three

Day three was basically all about meds. We sat down at a table and we went over paperwork, the confusing drug regimen, and the how to's of mixing the meds. And let me say... I will definitely need multiple refreshers. It was a lot of information. You have different syringes for different meds with different needles and tip... then you have to mix this liquid with this powder, then mix that solution with this solution, then mix it one more time with this solution... and on and on. But my nurse promised she's refresh my memory as it came time for each medicine.

The Lupron is given in just one shot in the upper butt. There are two types. Shots that are injected into the muscles in the upper butt and then the kind that are just injected into the skin in around the belly button area. And I this one is done in the hip. The muscle shots are supposed to be the bad ones. Well... when she did the Lupron which is in the muscle... I seriously didn't feel a thing. So I'm no longer concerned about the pain of the shots. I know some will hurt or burn worse than others, but I can handle all of that. I just hope Nathan can handle giving me the butt shots!

Tonight I have to do my pre-procedure stuff and then of course, nothing to eat or drink after midnight. My dear friend, Marcia will be taking me to my procedure since Nathan cannot (which by the way he is having a very stressful week!) I am so grateful for Marcia's kindness and support. Having her in my life is definitely a God-thing.

Oh and its looking like our egg retrieval will likely happen in about two and a half weeks. That can always change based on all the factors involved, but that's our current time estimate.

I'll definitely post a Day Four update after my procedure.

Day One

You'll be happy to know I survived Day One. The procedure that was supposed to be done, did not happen. Dr. Shamma quickly understood why I had so much pain with these procedures. To put it vaguely, it was a biological factor. I think he knew at my first reaction to the attempt and pain that it was not going to work. So he stopped. THANK YOU JESUS! Phew. And thus the reason for the 'test run.' Had Dr. Shamma not attempted this procedure, then went it came time for the transfer, we would have had major problems. So now, he is doing hysteroscopy along with another procedure to 'fix' the problem. And I will happily be sedated for this procedure. And it will not delay progress whatsoever.

I go back in on Wednesday for my first Lupron injection where I will learn how to mix the meds and inject them myself. After the little reminder of the HSG pain, the thought of giving myself injections does not worry me at all. And the lovely nurse is saving us $500 by giving me extra Lupron they have at the office. I know they are still making loads of money, but I feel like they have been very thoughtful and generous in finding ways to save us money.

Then either on Thursday or Friday, whatever day my procedure is scheduled for I will head to Rochester Hills, Michigan which is about an hour and a half south of Midland where our baby or babies will actually be made. The only problem is that I cannot go by myself and Nathan will not be able to take off work to take me. Not only is it "fair week" which is always very busy, but Nathan is covering for his boss while he is on vacation. Any other week Nathan will be able to work things out between work and appointments, but just not this week. But we should be able to figure something out.

And I decided that I need a pill box... you know with a separate compartment for each day of the week. I now have ten pill bottles on my counter. I think once we add the Lupron I'm going to have to write it all down!

So that pretty much covers Day One. Day Two should only include a walk or bike ride with Marcia and water aerobics with my friend Kendra. Thank you for your prayers and thoughts.

Welcome

Welcome to my new blog.

The purpose of this change was my alternative plan to making my blog private. There are only a couple people I don't want reading my blog. I think a simple move should do the trick. Don't forgot to save the new blog address in your bookmark bar!