a long one

sigh. I've done a pretty good job of not stressing about things. I mean, I have a lot I could stress about, but I am trying not to. And while tonight, I still trust that God will provide according to his perfect timing... I'm becoming a bit impatient. Because we are pregnant, I know that this is the right time. Yes, we did do IVF, but we prayed that God would still work or not work. He chose to work a miracle through Dr. Shamma's hands. And I know that God didn't bring us to this point only to leave us hanging.

We are five hundred and seventy two miles from my parents; that is nine hours of driving time not really including stops. We are four hundred and sixty five miles from Nathan's parents; that is about a seven and a half hour drive. Now lets throw an infant or even a toddler in the car. A seven and a half hour trip has now turned into about a nine hour trip. A nine hour trip has now turned into a twelve hour trip.

This is kind of where my frustration is at this point. While I have made some truly incredible friendships here in Midland, there is no substitute for your family. No one loves you more unconditionally than your family. No one would drop what they were doing to support you faster than your family. And the thought of being this far away from my family when our baby is born tends to upset me. Sure. My parents are retired, although my mom still works three days a week PRN. They can generally travel most easily. But they have two dogs and its unrealistic to think they could make monthly trips to see us. Not to mention, we don't have a guest room. And for Nathan's parents, traveling is not easy because Nathan's 80 something year old grandma lives with them, and Nathan's dad still works. Long trips are not healthy for the elderly even if the time was available. (Not saying his parents are elderly... just his g-ma ;)

I know some people are fine living far from family. And I'm not suggesting I need to be in the same town. But living with in traveling distant with an infant would be nice. We love our families and miss our families. Living away from home has made us cherish our time with our families. But our time is not unlimited. We want our child's grandparents to be there and present. We want them to be a regular part of their daily lives. Not to babysit... just to spoil.

My frustration is knowing how to make this happen. And in my mind, I know it is not up to me to make it happen. If it is meant to happen, God will guide us to the right opportunities. I guess that's really my prayer, that God will open a door that will take us closer to our families. We've heard some encouraging rumors, but also some discouraging rumors. Ultimately, I know I just need to simply trust God. But I want to know now. I want to plan. Yes, I know I sound like a whiney little girl... God is probably used to that from me by now. So please pray that A. God will give us patience and the ability to fully trust Him. B. That God will find a way to get us closer to both of our families, preferably before June 3rd.