TWO

This may be news to some of you, but I thought I'd make it 'blog official.' We are in the process of attempting our first Frozen Embryo Transfer. It's always so weird to announce that we are trying to conceive. But... God has put SO MANY PEOPLE in my life that I have been able to offer support through their own journey of infertility. God has given us each a ministry/ministries and I believe this is one of mine. And in order to do so, it takes a level of openness that not all may be comfortable.

Frozen. Embryo. Transfer. It is exactly as it sounds. We will thaw and use an embryo/embryos from our first IVF, fresh cycle. It is half the money, have the drugs, half the pokes, have the ultrasounds... Definitely much easier than the first time around. We have completed two of the three necessary trips to Michigan, as we are using the same doctor. The next trip will be the BIG ONE. Transfer day.

It took a while to get to a point of peace about trying for another baby. I had a lot of fear about it. But I prayed that when the time is right, He'd put that peace in my heart. And He has. We are ready for whatever may come from this FET. We have five little 'snowflakes.' The statistic is that half will survive the thaw. Or none may survive the thaw. Or all may survive the thaw. We really have to just brace for anything. We will not do another fresh cycle at any point. If none survive, then we will accept that God chose Milo to be it for our biological family. Or maybe He has a couple more babies in store for our family. Yes we are opening ourselves up to some potential pain if things don't go as planned. It comes down to faith.

We should know whether or not the transfer was a success around the end of February. But I do ask that you not ask... We'll tell you when the time is right.

In the meantime, I have been obsessed with baby names. Oh my. So many lovely names to choose from. Do we go for another M name? Stick to a less popular name? Traditional? Popular? Vintage? French?

We have started talking to Milo a tad about Mommy having another baby. We ask if he wants mommy to have a girl baby or boy baby. It's always boy. What would we name a boy baby? Cookie. Hmmm. I don't think Cookie will make the top of our list, but Baby Cookies sure sounds like a cute nickname. =)

Speaking of talking, boy oh boy does Milo talk. He's consistently using 3-4 word sentences, singing, expressing his emotions... On our trip he'd randomly smile and say, "I'm happy." Oh it makes our hearts melt every time. OH AND... We have never told Milo to say, "I'm sorry." We have demonstrated it and spoke the words on his behalf. But we have never said, "Milo. Say I'm sorry" intentionally. Well... the other night at dinner, he threw food on the floor and it got on Nathan's pants. As we were going through the process of discipline, I said, "Daddy, I'm sorry Milo threw food on your pants." Milo paused, looked at Nathan, and said, "I sorry Daddy." Since then he has also said it to my Dad. Its just good to know that Milo is beginning to understand when and why we say I'm sorry without being forced. The same goes for sharing. We don't do forced sharing. We take turns. We help our friends find a toy they'd like, etc. Yet somehow, he is very generous, shares, and take turns.

I'm not trying to toot our own horn. We are SO far from being perfect parents. But we are really learning what Milo responds to and how to parent him. Milo is incredibly independent. Give him two choices and we are usually good to go. "Milo, do you want to walk out of the store, or do you want Mommy to carry you out of the store?" Both are acceptable choices to me in getting him to do what I need, and in most cases it spares us a tantrum.

OK. I think I've gone on long enough. Between the holidays, move, travels, etc. Its just been so long since I've sat down and had plenty of time to blog. Hopefully I'll get to blog again soon.

Please remember our family in your prayers as we hope to create a new life.