I need to be in bed...

There were a few things I wanted to blog about... but I just put Milo to bed and my goal is to be in bed within a half hour of putting him down. So I guess I'll see what all I get to.

I had another visit with my lactation consultant today. She was definitely very encouraging. I nursed this afternoon/evening without the nipple shield! I'm still healing, but with different positioning we should be OK without the shield. I think Milo and I both really enjoyed nursing withOUT that piece of plastic between us.

My lactation consultant said that most people would have given up by now. I am glad I have not. While the most important thing to me is that Milo gets breast milk... I would be crushed to lose the connection I feel while nursing him. We were physically connected for 42 weeks... spiritually connected for longer as I prayed for him... I just love the skin to skin time that nursing has brought us. And I love that I have something special that allows me to instantly comfort him. It has been a difficult road, but I am hopeful that we will be able to continue to enjoy nursing for many more months.

One thing that has been difficult is falling asleep. Whether I am trying to nap or go down for the night... it has been taking me a good half hour to fall asleep. My mind just keeps going... usually thinking about the difficult things... and often I cried myself to sleep. But today, while trying to nap... which I wasn't really able to do, but enjoyed snuggling Milo while he napped... I started thinking about all of the joys over the past two weeks. It was the first time I felt like my mind went to a happy place on its own. And I thought about all of the wonderful times to come for my beautiful family of three. It felt good.

In a few weeks, I'd like to make a post about the items I could not live without. I enjoyed when friend's made a similar post, and I'd like to do the same. But... I did want to go ahead and say I could not live without my Aden + Anais blankets. Its hard to keep Milo warm without over heating him, especially in air conditioning and at night. My Aden + Anais blankets, which are a very light, soft muslin material, have been perfect for getting a nice, tight swaddle keeping him snug but not too warm. They are also great for draping over his car seat to keep the sun out, while allowing plenty of airflow. And I use them just for a light cover when he's just relaxing. I have four, and I'm thinking I might get another pack of four. Oh and they seriously get softer with each wash! They are definitely a must have for summer babies.

Last but far from least... Mom. My mom and dad drove up to Michigan the Friday after Milo's Tuesday birth. Their plan was to stay for a few days then head home. After I ended up with the C and realized I may need a few more days help... they decided to stay for a week to help me out. After my postpartum and nursing issues arose, my Mom was willing and able to stay for an additional week while my Dad when back to BG to rescue the dogs from the boarding place. Well... Mom's time has come to an end. Nathan will be taking her to the airport early tomorrow morning.

I cannot adequately express what her help has meant to me, Nathan, and Milo. She has cooked our meals, cleaned our dishes, done our laundry, changed diapers, took a few night time feedings during the two nights I pumped, paced with a crying, tired baby, kept my water cup filled, talked me through my moments of anxiety, carried the heavy car seat, made me get 10 minutes of sunshine a day, made me leave the house so I wouldn't become an agoraphobic, sat in waiting rooms with Milo during follow up appointments, gone to the grocery store about a million times, and so much more. I told her I felt like I needed to celebrate Mother's Day all over again. I already had a great appreciation for my mom, but what she has done for us over the past week or so... I guess I understand it more too now that I am a mom. And while I am ready to get back to normal as a family of three... I am really going to miss my mom and just her positive attitude. I know Nathan and I will be fine on our own, but it is still a little scary. I'm glad I will (hopefully...) be asleep when they leave in the morning... maybe that will help keep some of the tears away. So to Mom... Thank you and we love you. XOXO