Love

I should be cleaning, folding laundry, dishes, etc. but I felt like blogging instead. I just put Milo down for his nap (without nursing him!!!) Our newest method of getting him to sleep is to dance around the house listening to Bollywood (Indian) music?! He went right to sleep.

After he fell asleep I was getting ready to lay him down in bed, and he quickly moved his hand... open palm, against my skin, over my heart. I just stood there... I felt so connected to my son. The son I feared I may never, ever get to have and hold and love and kiss. I think its along the same lines why I have been willing to deal with so much pain and discomfort relating to breast feeding. Its been a way to be physically close and feel emotionally connected.

I know we all feel this way about our children (and boy do I understand how much my parents love me now...) but Milo is our miracle. Everyday, our (I know this holds true for Nathan) hearts almost explode with love. Being a mother is the hardest thing I've ever done. Its a huge, massive, gigantic job and responsibility. I had a great life before... and a great marriage to an amazing, the most amazing, man. But Milo has just filled our world with so much joy.

I pray everyday that God will mold and transform me into a better mother.