Merry Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

My Christmas gift to you... my blog readers... is a Christmas blog post. Lucky you.

Let me start out by saying this was the best Christmas EVER. Milo, of course, had very little idea what was going on, yet there was still so much joy. He had a blast playing with the paper and ribbons. And most of his gifts were things he loves... like books, spoons, cups, bowls, a couple toys and a ball. As soon as we sat down in front of the Christmas tree, he crawled over to a new ball that was under the tree and started playing with it. And we left some goodies, milk, and carrots out for Santa and his gang... and sure enough... they were gone this morning. Santa even left a letter for Milo. A letter that brought me to tears. Santa knew what a special year this has been for us and made sure Milo knew what a special boy he was. Then we enjoyed making and eating a yummy Christmas brunch.

Yesterday, we went to a Christmas Eve children's service, then enjoy a wonderful meal and fellowship with our WV friends, the Wiseman family. Marcia read the Christmas Story from the Bible before we ate. It was a wonderful day of reflection. I found this last year, and found it even stronger this year... but I feel such a strong connection with Mary. Just thinking what she must have gone through, must have thought, must have felt... its powerful.

The rest of the day we are going to spend in our jammies. I think we might make a gingerbread house, maybe go play in the snow, and just enjoy our time together.

Wherever you are, however you celebrate, may your Christmas and holiday be wonderful and full of joy.

Today was Milo's half birthday! Six months old already... you folks weren't kidding when you said it goes by quickly. I can honestly say, without hesitation or doubt, that the past six months have been the most amazing six months of my life. Milo has brought such great joy to our lives. I guess I've said that before, but its so true. I wake up every morning, not thinking "Oh man its 7?!" I wake up and see my son's smile and we start our day.

As I reflect on Milo being six months old. I have much to be grateful for. For one... he is just now experiencing his first illness, and its just a cold. I'm grateful for the loving and supportive husband, who is a phenomenal daddy to Milo. But I'm also grateful that Milo is six months old and I are still nursing him.

Nursing/breastfeeding is important to me... to us. When Milo was one week old... I wasn't sure we'd make it to two weeks. When he was one month old, I didn't think we'd still be nursing at three months. And here we are still nursing at six months. God has definitely heard our prayers. It's amazing how something so painful and difficult and stressful could end up being so wonderful and special and fulfilling.

Thank you to all of you who have been so loving and supportive. Even those of you who reminded me it's ok to quit... I still needed to hear that. I fought because I chose to, not because I felt obligated and forced.

Tomorrow Milo will have his six month checkup.I can't wait to see how much he's grown!

To my son: Happy Half Birthday Milo!! We love you SO much!!

Snow

Snow days have very little impact on my life these days... but they still make me so happy! I guess I still remember the excitement and joy a snow day brought. We ended up with maybe six inches or so. And its cold, windy, and the roads were a mess today. So there's no surprise school was cancelled up here. I'm definitely going to be calling the ENT office in the morning and try to take advantage of the winter day... surely someone will cancel and we can get Milo in.

Speaking of Milo... we took him out to "play" in the snow today. We had big plans of taking him in a sled ride around the block. Two problems. One... he hated it. The wind was blowing the snow right in his poor little face. Two... I had him layered so heavily that his body would fold in half to sit. LOL Oh well... we got some cute pictures out of it. We'll try again in better conditions.

Milo also has his first runny nose. He'll be six months old on the 15th... so making it six whole months without so much as a sniffle is pretty good if you ask me. Although he's supposed to get a vaccine this week... but since his body is obviously busy dealing with a cold... we'll give it a rest and reschedule for next week or the week after. He also has his six month appointment this week. I can't wait to see how much he's grown. :) Its always so fun. I thank God everyday for my happy, healthy baby boy.

Poor Nathan is out there right now shoveling the driveway. Its not a big driveway but that snow is heavy!!! And of course, its still snowing. Yuck. That's the down side to snow. I'm also very thankful for my husband who goes out there and does it without complaining. All he asks is for some hot coffee when he's done. I can handle that.

Oh and the parade last night was a lot of fun. We sat on the float in line up for about 30 minutes... then Milo fell asleep the minute we started to move. So he kind of slept through the actual parade, but it was fun. It was a great excuse to bundle up and snuggle up together.

I put Milo down an hour ago and I haven't had to go in there once yet. I would normally be happy, but I'm worried about his breathing with being so congested. I have a feeling I'll be sleeping especially light tonight. But that's ok.

Stay warm and safe, wherever you are!!

Christmas

Boy oh boy... I feel like its been forever since I sat down to blog.

The most recent excitement in our home is Milo's first tooth! Milo was chewing on my knuckle last night and I just felt something sharp... I knew it was a tooth. I scrambled to get him in a position to see it and move his tongue out of the way... and there it was. I think the biggest thing that surprised me was that he hasn't really been fussy or anything. Drooling like crazy... but not irritable or anything.

I had also been dreading that first tooth. I've been worried for a while... about its impact on our nursing. I know many mom's successfully nurse a baby with teeth. But while Milo is nursing fine... its not exactly correct. However, we're doing ok so far. I've certainly been praying we can continue to nurse. I think the biggest test will be over next couple weeks as that tooth comes in even more. I am definitely optimistic.

What else? I know I have been saying it for weeks now... but Milo is SO close to crawling. He gets on his hands and knees and rocks. And he knows what to do with his legs... he'll take a step forward but end up with his face on the carpet because he doesn't know to move his arms. But he is close!

Its so hard to believe Milo is almost six months old. He'll officially be six months old on the 15th... but he's actually like 25 weeks. Half a year? He's just growing up so fast. And in one sense I'm so proud and excited for this little baby who is growing into a boy. But its bittersweet.

He's in the swing right now, beside me... dozing. And my hearts just melts over and over and over again every time he looks at me. He is such a happy, loving, easy going boy. Nathan and I are truly looking forward to the next 74.5 years with our son...

Nathan is still staying busy at work... another thing that's hard to believe is that Nathan has been in his new position for about 3/4 a year already. Its certainly different from being a photographer. In some ways he likes it more, some ways less. He is really enjoying the layout and design work he gets to do on a daily basis. Everyday he lays out and designs the front page... as well as other pages in the paper. His boss recently made a comment about how surprised he was at Nathan's design skills. So all in all work is fine. And of course we are thoroughly enjoying his normal work hours. No more of that 2-10 stuff!

I will be having a repeat CT scan this month, following up on the lung nodules. Not worried about it... but if we don't get a definitive answer that it is OK, or not OK... I think I'll be finding a second opinion. And this will be my last scan for a while. The next step will be biopsy so we know what these things are.

And the newest issue is that we believe either things healed oddly after my c section or else there's some significant scar tissue that has formed. I'm waiting on a call from my midwife after she talks to the OBGYN that delivered Milo. It sounded like they can go in and repair things during the next c section. 1. There's an incentive to have another baby. 2. But I also read that it can cause fertility problems. Seriously?! We'll see what my doctor says.

I'm trying to think what else is knew...

This is the first Christmas we will be spending as a family of three. Nathan and I have never even had a Christmas just the two of us. Nathan is warming up about the idea, but I am excited about it. This is Milo's first Christmas... I want to focus on our family of three. It'll give us a chance to start new traditions and make a special holiday memory with our son.

I've had a few friends recently post about tradition and Christmas. And the theme that sticks out is intentional parenting. Whatever you choose, however you choose to celebrate... as long as you are intentional... you're making the right choice. We are intentionally playing the Santa game with Milo. We're doing stockings, Christmas tree, decorations... Nathan and I just think back to our childhood and we remember the joy it brought us. How can we not give Milo the same opportunity to use his imagination and have that same joy. And in the Christian community, that's controversial. But somehow Nathan and I were given the chance to be children and believe in Santa... but still grow up to understand the difference between the story of Santa and the story of Jesus. When I found out that Santa, Easter bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were make believe... it first happened when I found a pouch of my baby teeth. I went... "OH... guess there's no Tooth Fairy. If there's no Tooth Fairy, there's probably not an Easter Bunny, if there's no Easter Bunny there's probably no Santa." But never in my mind did I associate Jesus with those other characters. And even within the Christmas season... there was the true reason for celebration, Jesus' birth, and then there was the other stuff. I think it is possible to do both. And if we see the two are blurring for Milo... we'll address the issue then. But until we see that... Milo will have a couple presents under the Christmas tree from Santa.

And since we won't have all the family excitement back home... we have a Christmas To Do list to help us enjoy the holiday season. On our list... make a gingerbread house, bake cookies, make an ornament with Milo, visit a nursing home (with Milo), visit the Santa house, find a live nativity, look at Christmas lights...

That's one thing we definitely want to instill in Milo throughout the year... volunteering. And after seeing how much joy Milo brought to Nathan's grandma... we thought visiting a nursing home would be a great thing to do this Christmas with Milo. Now I will have him in the Moby or Ergo so that his exposure to germs is as little as possible... but we'd love to give the elderly residents a chance to see his smile. Who doesn't love a baby? And visiting nursing homes was one of my favorite girl scout activities in elementary school.

OK. So much more to do while Milo's napping. Enjoy your Wednesday.

A good friend of Nathan's cousin, lost her husband yesterday to cancer. Her name is Shelley. Please remember Shelley in your prayers are she grieves and, in time, heals. Pray that God will give Shelley peace and rest.

Milo's Dedication

Here is the what was said at Milo's dedication:

As Milo’s grandfather, I’d like to welcome you to Milo’s dedication
ceremony.

The purpose of today is for Kelly and Nathan to make a promise to
God and to Milo, as well as for us, to make a commitment to support
them in keeping that promise.

While many dedications are held inside a church building, Kelly and
Nathan found being outside in the middle of God’s beautiful creation,
even in the cold, was just as fitting for this event.

…

While God had a special plan for their family, Kelly found great peace
in Hannah’s story as they prayed for their child.

(1 Samuel 9-11)

“So Hannah ate. Then she pulled herself together, slipped away
quietly, and entered the sanctuary. The priest Eli was on duty at the
entrance to God's Temple in the customary seat. Crushed in soul,
Hannah prayed to God and cried and cried—inconsolably. Then she
made a vow:
Oh, God-of-the-Angel-Armies,
If you'll take a good, hard look at my pain,
If you'll quit neglecting me and go into action for me
By giving me a son,
I'll give him completely, unreservedly to you.
I'll set him apart for a life of holy discipline.”

When God answered Hannah’s prayer giving her a son, she
remembered her vow.

“I prayed for this child, and God gave me what I asked for. And now I
have dedicated him to God. He's dedicated to God for life."
Then and there, they worshiped God.”

...

Next Kelly will read a short poem about their journey to parenthood.

I prayed for you by name,
in the night and in the day.
I cried. I begged. I pleaded.
Where’s my baby, God? I'd say.

But God was good and faithful,
and showed us His great love,
by giving us a son, named Milo;
a gift from up above.

The moment that we saw him,
our hearts were filled with joy.
This perfect little person was
our prayed for baby boy.

Now as he's growing quickly,
we hold him snug and tight.
Our prayer to God is simple,
help us raise him right.

...

At this time Kelly and Nathan will make their promises.

Milo, We promise to love and support you; to nurture you physically,
emotionally, and spiritually. We promise to raise you in a home that loves
and serves God. And we promise to cover you with prayer each and every
day.

God, we bring Milo Oliver before you in the spirit of dedication. We promise
to love and cherish the son you have entrusted us with, to teach him about
the truth of your Word and your Love so that he may come to accept
Jesus as his Savior. We promise to lead Milo through our own lives and
examples.

…

As Nathan and Kelly’s family and friends, you are also their
community of faith. As their community of faith, do you promise to
support Kelly and Nathan with guidance and prayer in raising Milo to
love and know God? If so, please say, We do.

...

As it is written in Deuteronomy...

(Deuteronomy 6: 4-7)

“Hear O Israel: The Lord our God is one. Love the Lord your God with
all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength. These
commandments that I give you today, are to be upon your hearts.
Impress them on their children. Talk about them when you sit at home
and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you
get up.”

...

Kelly and Nathan would also like to recognize Eric and Caroline
Thorne as Milo’s godparents. Their job as godparents is simply to
be a positive influence in Milo’s life, supporting his parents efforts
of raising him in a loving, Christian home. Eric and Caroline, do you
accept to be Milo’s godparents? If so, say We do.

...

At this time, Kelly and Nathan would like to share a special video of
the first few months of Milo’s life...
(VIDEO)

...

Please join me in prayer.

God, We thank you for blessing our family with Milo Oliver. We pray
that you continue to guide Kelly and Nathan in raising Milo in a home
that loves and serves only You.

We pray for Milo’s lasting health, for his physical growth, and for his
spiritual journey, ultimately leading him to accept Jesus as his one
and only Saviour.

Have your hand upon each family represented today, and let us go
with a spirit of dedication both to you and to our families.


…

Thank you for all for coming and being a part of this special moment
in Milo’s life.

Happy Belated Thanksgiving

My, oh my what a whirlwind this trip to WV has been! First of all, we left Midland around 6 pm... and drove all evening. Milo did great! He slept all but about 45 minutes of the trip. And his natural clock didn't seem to get messed up at all. We had a very nice Thanksgiving with Nathan's family and my brother. My mother-in-law, as always, cooked a delicious traditional meal. YUM! Another big highlight of our trip has been Milo's first snow and Milo's dedication. We woke up this morning to beautiful WV flurries! I threw a hat on Milo and took him outside in his pajamas to experience the weather. He could definitely see the flakes in the air. That was a fun moment. The bigger event today was Milo's dedication.

We decided to do things a little differently with Milo's dedication. We went up the mountain to Coopers Rock State Forest and held the dedication under the pavilion, fireside. It was cold, yes... about 28 degrees. WHAT? You took your baby out in 28 degree weather. Yep... and he didn't freeze?! First of all, he'd better get used to it living in Michigan. Secondly, I bundled my baby up... he was plenty warm. My mom made an adorable and warm fleece hat and mittens for Milo's dedication. And I even put a thin layer of lanolin on his lips, cheeks, and chin to keep his face from getting chapped with all the drooling he does these days. We were probably only out there for about 30 minutes. Most people didn't come because of the weather... but that's OK. It was cold and perfect regardless. I am planning on posting more about our dedication with what was said and pictures.

A special thank you to Fred, Linda, and Susie
Freddie, Tiffany, and Wyatt
Lisa, Josiah, and Haylee
Eric, Caroline, Ethan, and Anne... for coming out in the cold to support our family. We love you.

Then, this morning we had a pre-Christmas, Christmas morning. We put Milo in his new Christmas jammies and opened presents from his Grandma and Grandpa (and a couple little ones from Santa.) Milo really seemed to enjoying ripping and playing with the wrapping paper. We also helped Nathan's parents put up their Christmas tree and decorate. Since we won't be making it back here for Christmas, it was a nice way to share some of the holiday season. It was really a lot of fun.

Tomorrow we're heading home, and again will drive all evening. Say a prayer for safe travels!

I'll try to blog again soon, with more about Milo's dedication.

Happy Belated Thanksgiving!!

Craziness

Yesterday was SUCH a crazy day for us. Milo and I ran, ran, ran. And he didn't mind the constant in and out of the car. I love that he's so laid back, most of the time. The two biggest things were going to visit a brand new friend, fresh from the oven. My friend Marcia gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on Friday. The last I heard, she was still nameless... but it was so great getting to meet her. She weighed just a couple ounces more than Milo when he was born. MMmmm.... it made me ready for another!!! Maybe not today, and not tomorrow... but maybe sooner rather than later.

The other thing that made our day crazy was a doctor's appointment I had. I've been having a back pinch thingy... so I was just hoping to get some more physical therapy. And I had that appt. scheduled for a little while. Well... I happened to have a weird thing develop on my neck. I've had this weird bump thing on my neck for a while... but it wasn't really a big deal. It was always just there. Well on Monday... Nathan pointed out that it seemed bigger... and then it got tender... and then it got red.... then it started... draining. YUCK! So after I talked to the doc about my back, I said, "Oh by the way, could you look at this thing on my neck!?" He agreed it did not look good and said he needed to go in and cut it out. Let me add I was there with Milo by myself. With Milo beside the table in the stroller... they cut that thing out of my neck! It turned out to be an infected cyst. Is that gross or what? He ended up having to make a bigger incision than he thought because it was tricky and in a bad spot. He said he could be more aggressive if it were on say my back... but being on the side of my neck... he had to take it easy with the scalpel. Then he sent me home with the incision packed with gauze but not closed. Yuck! It still grosses me out. I have to go back in on Monday to have it repacked and I may have to have someone else do it while we are in Morgantown, depending on how it looks on Monday. He also sent it to the lab, to verify what it is. And Milo was SO good as long as the nurse would occasional give him a smile. It was the last ten minutes that he started wailing! Luckily my doctor has two young children himself, so he didn't seem fazed by it. We ended up being there in the office for an hour and a half. My neck is now a bit sore, and I'm on an antibiotic. And I can already see the bruising under the bandage from him trying to manipulate the cyst. That should look nice.

Anyway... this morning we went to our town's Santa Parade. This was Milo's first parade. It was cold... in the 30s... but Milo was snuggled in the Moby, in my jacket, and took a nice snooze while we waited for the parade to start. He seemed interested enough. Then, this afternoon I am getting my hair cut. I have GOT to figure out what to do with my hair. Its just impossible to deal with. We'll see what I end up with! I'm always very brave when it comes to hair.

Ok... I need to tend to my baby boy. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Buh Buh

Milo is napping right now...in bed... by himself! YAY! Milo's doing very well these days. We have embraced our 'family bed' and everyone is sleeping just fine. Milo will even wake up and fall back asleep on his own. For whatever reason, he is finally relaxed and comfortable in bed. I don't know why he couldn't do that in his crib, but I don't care. I just want Milo to feel comfortable and safe so that he can rest well. And Nathan and I both love cuddling him and watching him sleep during the night. It only took 5 months...

Speaking of 5 months... he is officially 5 months old today! And I can honestly say... without hesitation... it has been the most amazing 5 months of my life. It was hard in the beginning... but Milo is just so worth it.

(This is a side note... but Milo took an hour and forty five minute nap yesterday... in his car seat. He fell asleep as soon as we left church and he stayed asleep while I ran into the grocery store and while we drove home. He still didn't wake up... so Nathan ended up eating his lunch in the car so Milo could finish his nap. :) He hasn't taken a nap that long in a long time. Now if I can get him to do THAT in bed!)

We have also decided to have Milo dedicated instead of baptized. I would be fine with either. I feel as though they serve the same purpose... but we're conflicted since we also believe in believer's baptism. So we decided to have Nathan's dad dedicate Milo. We are still working on the details, but we are going to hold the ceremony at one of our favorite places in WV.... Coopers Rock. There's no better place, in my book, to have Milo dedicated than in the middle of God's beautiful creation. Some people feel God's presence in a magnificent cathedral... but for us... its simple amidst the beauty of His creation.

Not much else to report. Milo is still so close to crawling. And his language is also really developing. He is making a funny "buh" sound... And a "mmm" sound. I think he's close to Ma Ma. *Big Smile*

Love

I should be cleaning, folding laundry, dishes, etc. but I felt like blogging instead. I just put Milo down for his nap (without nursing him!!!) Our newest method of getting him to sleep is to dance around the house listening to Bollywood (Indian) music?! He went right to sleep.

After he fell asleep I was getting ready to lay him down in bed, and he quickly moved his hand... open palm, against my skin, over my heart. I just stood there... I felt so connected to my son. The son I feared I may never, ever get to have and hold and love and kiss. I think its along the same lines why I have been willing to deal with so much pain and discomfort relating to breast feeding. Its been a way to be physically close and feel emotionally connected.

I know we all feel this way about our children (and boy do I understand how much my parents love me now...) but Milo is our miracle. Everyday, our (I know this holds true for Nathan) hearts almost explode with love. Being a mother is the hardest thing I've ever done. Its a huge, massive, gigantic job and responsibility. I had a great life before... and a great marriage to an amazing, the most amazing, man. But Milo has just filled our world with so much joy.

I pray everyday that God will mold and transform me into a better mother.

Milo's Baptism

Nathan and Milo ran out to get a movie, so I thought I'd take a quick minute to blog. {This is their first solo, Daddy-Milo outing.}

We have been talking about this for a little while now, but we decided to have Milo baptized while we are back home for Thanksgiving at my family's home church. We kind of had to decide between a baptism and dedication. I believe both are equally valid rituals in the Christian faith. I believe that we each have to make a choice for Christ as adults. Some churches believe baptism is strictly for adults after a decision to follow Christ is made. But in the United Methodist Church... that is done through confirmation... where you are reaffirming your baptism. Even when an adult is baptized... there is still a reaffirmation process. And just like dedication, both the family and the church are accepting the baby into the family of God... and promising to support and raise that child in a Christ centered home and life.

I'm very excited about this event in Milo's life... and I pray it is the beginning of a long and fruitful spiritual journey with God.

Sleep

{After Milo's first Halloween party with our newborn group... he immediately passed out on the way home. And notice he is not in an infant car seat anymore. Our little-big boy made it clear he was ready for a little-big boy car seat... which he loves.}

A big theme in our lives right now... as well as the lives of most other new parents... is sleep. I think I've mentioned it before, like a million times before. Nathan and I were talking this evening. In our conversation, Nathan made the comment that we are just in transition. I followed that up with the fact that we've been working on this transition since Milo was 7 weeks old! I don't think we can still call it a transition. Maybe we can.

Anyway. This evening I did a little more reading about attachment parenting. For the most part, that describes us. I breast feed on demand, baby wear, etc. This is partly because this is what we chose, but I think an equal part of that is because it fit Milo's needs. Not all baby's like to be snuggled or worn. Milo does.

I have this battle (one of many) going on in my head. Society vs. Instinct. My instinct tells me that Milo needs me close. But society says that by 3 months your baby should be sleeping in their bed and through the night. But what if that doesn't fit our baby. Does that mean I should attempt to force Milo into something he may not be ready for yet? I want Milo to be an independent sleeper, but I think he has made it clear he is simply not ready for that yet.

And there are many benefits to co-sleeping, sleep sharing, or the family bed... whichever you terminology you prefer. My favorite are the emotional benefits. There ares studies that show that babies who co slept with their parents grow up with a higher self-esteem, less anxiety, actually become independent sooner, are better behaved in school, and are more comfortable with affection. Good benefits of co-sleeping. You'll see.

This past weekend, Nathan heard an episode of This American Life about love. Apparently back in the day (maybe 50-60 years ago) all of the physicians and professionals in the field were stating that a baby who is kissed more than once a year is an over kissed baby. The story was about one scientist who was fought that notion. That just kind of proves that what "they" say should be taken somewhat lightly.

And there may be some of you out there who think I'm making a mistake. But we all know that every baby is different and has different needs. Many of the authors on the subject admit that they didn't understand until their third or fourth child came along and made them understand.

I'm going to try to focus on meeting Milo's needs and that's it. Its obvious he is not ready for independent sleeping and that's OK. I will still try to encourage it, especially for day time napping. But I am going to take the pressure off and follow his lead.

And if I can be honest about one more thing... As the mother of a baby boy who is growing way too fast (he's in 6-12 month clothing already!!) I'm glad he still likes to be cuddled and snuggled and nursed.

Big Boy

I cannot believe its already (almost) Thursday and I cannot believe it is already November! I guess with all of our company... October just flew by. In all honesty, I can probably say that for every month.

Since about Halloween day, Milo has been able to sit up for over a minute on his own! I still like to be right there with him. When he does start to fall, I try to let him fall naturally, but gently... so he understands the natural consequences of his movements. And those early crawling motions are really starting. He can hike his butt up in the air, and he's learning to use his legs to get moving. I really think he'll be crawling by Thanksgiving if not before.

Today we had to take our cat to the vet for some minor skin issues she was having. At the vet, one of the guys that works there was gushing over Milo... then he said he also has a 4 month old... that is 18 lbs!! I thought Milo was a big boy!! We starting chatting about Sophie the Giraffe and leg warmers for boys, etc. Basically, by the time we left the vet, I had his fiancé's phone number to arrange a play date. :)

Milo now LOVES PeekABoo! He also has become quite the horse back rider. Mom and Dad found a vintage Fisher Price horse riding toy that even makes a little galloping sound... that Milo loves. While Mom and Dad were here, Mom would push Milo up and down the hallway on this horse. And its so cute because he'll even hold on the reins and lean right against the horse's mane... he seriously looks like he know what he is doing. Its SOOOO stinking adorable. I want Milo to be whatever he wants to be in life... but I could see him becoming a bit of a cowboy (especially if Grandma and Grandpa R have anything to do with it.) I'm hoping over the new couple of years, we'll be able to find an old saddle for him to play on.

Not much else is new. I got Milo's 6-12 month clothing (I had some out already) because he is so over his 3-6 month clothes. It was a blast getting out the next size up... it was like I went shopping and found all of this great, adorable stuff... but didn't have to spend any money. I guess all of those sales over the past couple (ok... maybe a few) years worked out well.

Happy Halloween

Milo's first Halloween was great. I made his WVU Mountaineer costume, and I was so pleased with how it turned out. Milo trick or treated at our friend Marcia's house and Anya's house. I thought that was enough for a 4 1/2 month old. :) Earlier in the day we headed up north to a couple lakes. It was nice just to leave town for a nice drive. And we stopped at a town nearby for a pit stop at a place called Cops and Doughnuts. It was a cute little bakery started by a former cop... and we all shared a doughnut with bacon on top. Yum.

We are really enjoying a visit from my parents. And even through Milo's bit of crankiness thanks to teething... he has been enjoying play time with his grandparents. My mom and dad found an old horsey riding toy... and so Milo's been getting horsey rides from grandma up and down the hallway. Fun stuff.

And Milo has now gone from sitting for a couple seconds... to sitting unsupported for many, many seconds. And he's starting to figure out the balancing act... he'll start to lean one way... I'll start to catch him then he sits back up. And he's really getting close to crawling. Its crazy!

And tomorrow I'm having a little play date with some friends... we're having a play date AND cookie swap. Should be lots of fun.

What's New

Blogging seems like such a major task these days... so please forgive me.

Did I tell you Milo's sitting now? His balance is not perfect and he hasn't figured out how to keep from falling over. But... he can for several seconds at a time sit straight up on his own. The problem is... that's pretty much how he wants to be all the time now. When he was happy to be laying on the floor either on his back or tummy... I could get a couple things done during the day. But... that's Ok. I'm happy to give up a couple chores to help my baby boy sit.

He has found his voice in a big way. He'll start out at a ear piercing scream... then all in one breathe go down to a gentle "ooooh" sound. Its so funny. We are enjoying seeing Milo's personality developing.

We gave Milo his first sitting up bath in the sink this evening. I still take him in the shower with me, but that's more of a rinse. Its hard to really get him clean like that now that he's bigger. And occasionally I'll get in the bathtub with him for a swim-bath. So I think the kitchen sink will be the bathtub for a while. I hated the baby bath tub and baby sling seat I tried. Both made it impossible to keep him warm. It just wasn't conducive to a nice, relaxing bath.

Milo is given up the infant car seat. Still rear facing of course, but he is now in a convertible car seat I had been using with Anya. It sits him much more up right. And he can actually look out the windows. Its actually quite adorable. He looks like such a big boy in his car seat now. And he hasn't cried in it once yet (with the exception of the first evening we took him out in it... he was tired and was just generally fussy.) We had to move him from the back middle, to the back side seat because his seat and Anya's new seat just wouldn't sit side by side. I don't love having him that close to the side of the car, but its OK. We'll move him to the middle for any out of town trips.

I finished his Halloween costume. I just hope it holds up through our newborn party and for Halloween day. I'll be sure to post pictures.

Sleeping is still OK. I haven't been exhausted the last few nights, so I think that's progress.

What else has been going on in our lives?? Hmmm... I guess that's about all I can think of at the moment. Baby food making is still going very well. I made prunes yesterday. And I'm still working on the yogurt making. The first batch didn't turn out... it just tasted and looked like warm milk?! But... I'll try again.

Mom and Dad are coming up on Thursday. I cannot wait for them to see Milo and his amazing little personality. And they are bringing a Chicco high chair I found on Craigslist in BG. Its about 4 years old and was listed for $40... we got it for $20. Not bad, huh?!

Wow. I managed to get a full blog post written without Milo waking up. Go us! :)

Happy Face

First of all, we had a great, but too short, visit from Nathan's parents this weekend. Milo was sleepy when they got here, so he threw that lower lip out a few times at first, but after some rest, he warmed up to his Grandma and Grandpap Morgan. By the end of the weekend Milo was giving Grandma kisses (aka open mouth slobbers) on command. I think Fred and Linda got what they came here for. :)

Milo has had a few good nights where slept for 4- 5 1/2 hour stretches. And we had quite a break through last night. Milo spent about half of the night in the crib ON HIS TUMMY! I have been waiting and waiting for Milo to figure out that he could roll over and sleep on his tummy. I think that will give him the security he needs during the night. Last night he rolled over all on his own. AND he was actually kind of all of the crib which is new. Usually he stays right where I put him. I think the fact that he's moving more is a good thing. I have high hopes!!

Today after Fred and Linda left, I had a lunch date with my friend Linda, Anya's mom. We never get to chit chat anymore. So it was great to sit down, without the kids, and just talk. Aside from the wonderful conversation, I ate a wonderful lunch. We went to Cafe Zinc which is a fancy little cafe in the new hotel down town. I had only had breakfast on the porch once. Nathan and I had been dying to try it, but just never made it happen. This was the perfect occasion. I had Pear Tartine. And boy was it good. I cannot even begin to describe how delicious it was.... artisan bread, some kind of delicious soft cheese, bacon, and pear drizzled with lemon juice and dusted with cracked pepper. It was just delicious.

That's about all I've got for now. Oh and we are doing weight watchers and I've lost about 7 lbs now... Nathan's lost a couple more than that. *Big SMILE*

Nathan and I are still struggling to figure out what Milo needs to sleep well... aside from being latched on to me for the entire night. Right now... the single bed is now up against the crib in the nursery, similar to how we had it before in our bedroom. It got me a few 2-3 hours stretches... which is all I can hope for at this point.

On a brighter note... homemade baby food is going really well. Its SOO easy. I'll take a few minutes twice a week and make something new to freeze. Last night I made sweet potatoes for dinner. I gave Milo a serving last night, then froze the rest into cubes. And Milo can now add yogurt to his list of new foods. He had the organic Yobaby peach yogurt and LOVED it! I gave him just a couple bites at first. Then today, he and I split a container. I was hesitant to offer that kind because of the sugar content, but I am currently making homemade yogurt. I'll add fruit to sweeten it up a bit. It'll be much healthier that way!

Baby's up. Got to go.

Stupidity

***If you have been previously offended by my blog, I encourage to stop reading now.***

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Milo has been eating solids for about four weeks now. And he has had everything from prunes to mango, spinach to rutabaga... and we've started some chicken. Many of these were offered as combinations. {Side note... pears and squash pair well together.} And no. I did not wait 3-5 between new foods. What????? But what about food allergies? One. We we have no history of allergies in our families. Two. If a severe reaction is going to happen... I have a feeling it will happen within 24 hours. Three. I'm going to be cautious and aware, but ultimately our bodies were made to consume these foods. You'd be amazed at how bent out of shape people can get if you break the 3-5 day rule. If you read online... you'd think you child is going to die if you don't wait 3-5 days between offering sweet potatoes and pears. And my intention is not to make light of food allergies. I understand they can be very serious.

My point is this. The ingredients listed above are all of the ingredients of the vaccines recommended to be given at 4 months of age... at the same time mind you. (Of course that varies depending on the brand of vaccine administered.) I just find it so ridiculous that in our country... it is acceptable to inject your 4 month old with that but by no means should you break the 3-5 day food rule.

Does anyone else see the stupidity in that?

4 Month Check Up

I'm happy to report Milo is still a healthy boy. His weight and length have seemed to slow down a bit, although the nurse took the measurements really fast so I'm not sure how accurate they are. He weighed 9#16 and was 25 something inches long. Everything else checked out just fine. And Milo was so on his game. He was chatty and smiley for Dr. G. And was eating the paper, then grabbing her stethoscope, etc. She definitely got a good picture of Milo these days. He even sat up on his own for her. So it really was a good check up.

And I was afraid I would be scolded for starting solids earlier than 4 months, but when I told her that his tongue thrust reflex was completely gone when we first started... she said, "Oh he was ready then!" She also said we could go ahead and start pureeing most of the things we're eating for dinner for him which surprised me. Then at 6 months we'll talk about giving him things less pureed and more soft and mashed... and about self feeding.

I have just been so happy with our pediatrician. She is wonderfully laid back, but still attentive and proactive. Laid back, attentive, and proactive... those are three important qualities in the right pediatrician for us. Dr. G will be a hard loss someday when we leave Michigan.

I blogged!

I've sat down to blog on several occassions but I always ended up unable to finish the post. They'd save as a draft then I'd forget to go back and finish. So I went ahead and published the two drafts I had waiting to be published.

Milo did sleep through the night, which is classified as at least 6 hours of consecutive sleep, a few nights ago. Boy did that feel good! Since then he's still been more like every 2-3 hours. Since our nephew Mason has been here... I've been sleeping in the nursery. And I noticed he is putting himself back to sleep much easier now. And he doesn't really wake up crying... more just fussing or talking. I know there are many different schools of thought on baby sleeping. But I am glad we chose the school of thought we did. We chose to use a more gentle, patient method. I really just tried to focus on making his crib a place he is comfortable in. And I'm definitely seeing the patience pay off.

Mason, who is 19, has been here since Saturday afternoon. Its been great having him up for a visit. I think he and Milo are definitely hitting it off. I wish we had the time and money to show Mason more of Michigan, but we've enjoyed watching some movies and just hanging out. Mason is a really good kid. Milo is very lucky to have six, amazing cousins... although we've been calling Mason "Uncle Masey."

Today is Milo's 4 month well baby visit. Its always so much fun to see how much he has grown. I'm guessing he weighs about 17 1/2 lbs... maybe more. We'll see! I have my list of questions for our doctor ready. I'm a little nervous though. Not only did we get a second opinion and have his tongue clipped, but we've also already started solids. There's one doctor in the practice who has been known to yell at parents for not doing things his way. But our doctor is very relaxed and laid back. I'm hoping I don't get scolded. But when it comes down to it... I'm Milo's expert. Her job is to guide us... but ultimately we're his parents.

OH and Milo is totally sitting unsupported!! He still leans forward a bit... but we can set him down and he can sit without falling over. I imagine we'll see him sitting him straight in a matter of days as those muscles continue to strengthen. And I'd say he's just a few weeks from crawling. This kid amazing me every single day.

Here are some of Milo's favorites:

Food: Prunes and banana {I can tell because I cannot feed those things to him fast enough!!}
Song: Head Shoulders Knees and Toes {He does enjoy the Jump Shake Your Booty song thing that we used to do in high school}
Toy: Ollie the Giraffe {Its actually named Sophie, but we chose to make it a boy.} He also likes Chewy (which is a teether) and Gertie the fish. Really... he loves all toys or anything else he can get his hands on... like spoons. He LOVES spoons.

Oh Milo has also started to cry when he wants something. Example. We took Mason to get some Indian food (Mason's first Indian food experience.) As I was eating Naan in front of him, he'd open his mouth and trie to grab it from me. When I wouldn't give it to him, he'd start fussing. He has done that a few times now. Its just so neat watching him learn to communicate. I know it won't be so neat when he's on the floor screaming and throwing tantrums. But for now... its neat.

I think that's it for now. I'll try VERY hard to blog today after his appointment with the newest growth stats. Enjoy your Monday!

Blog Draft 2

I guess its been a little while since I last blogged. We are definitely seeing slow and steady improvements in Milo's sleeping. He is now spending most of the night in his crib. He wakes up crying much less and his cry is no longer panicky. He's waking every 2- 2 1/2 hours which I can totally handle. I truly think our patience is paying off. When he does wake up... there are two things that work to get him back to sleep... 1. giving him his pacifier, blankie, and rolling him on his side... if that doesn't work 2. nurse him. There really isn't anything in between those two things that will do the trick. He either needs a little help or nursing help. But we'll continue being patient.

Baby food making/freezing is going well. I have all kinds of yumminess in the freezer... today I'm working on parsnips and green beans, then hopefully tomorrow I'll get some sweet potatoes done.

Our nephew Mason is coming up this weekend, which we are really looking forward to. Then the following weekend, I believe, Nathan's parents are coming up... then the weekend after that, my parents are coming up! So we're looking forward to the next few weekends having our family in town.

Milo is super funny these days. He's all about feeling things. He cannot get enough of Nathan's scruffy face... and desperately graps for all kinds of new things.

Blog Draft 1

I don't want to speak too soon, but I feel like our nights are improving... slowly. Milo is sleeping in his crib about 80% of the night. Although... after two nights... I bring him in bed with me so I can get a better night's sleep. So we're doing two nights in the crib as much as possible, then one night with me for sleeps sake. His crying is much less panicky when he does wake up. And he is starting to fall back asleep on his own when he startles during the night. We still have a ways to go, but we are staying patient.

Milo is quite the talker these days. He has really found his voice... and isn't afraid to use it! He is also starting to move around on the floor more. You can set him down on a blanket one way... and ten seconds later he's turned around and off the blanket. He's also getting up his knees... we're definitely seeing the very early stages of crawling.

Sleep... What's that??

Last night was yet another long night. I decided to call Milo's pediatrician this morning. I know every new parent deals with sleep issues at some point, but I wanted to see if they had any other advice or thoughts about what's going on with Milo. First of all... here's what's going on.

*He's waking up every 45 min-1 1/2 hour.
*He goes to sleep easily and seems comfortable in his crib.
*When he does wake up... its instant screaming with his arms flailing.
*He's fine during the day and naps well.
*We've tried several different sleeping arrangements including back to cosleeping and Milo on his tummy (And yes he is a wonderful roller these days... so tummy sleeping is fine.)
*When he does wake up... sometimes I can put his pacifier in and he'll fall back asleep... sometimes I can reposition him and he'll fall back asleep... when I do pick him up, he instantly falls right back asleep. Nathan tried to get him back to sleep early last night and he just stayed so upset... the minute I held him he went right back to sleep.
*No fever, no abnormal congestion, no tugging on the ears, nothing to indicate sickness or teething.

I did not know night mares or night terrors started this young, but our pediatrician said this is actually about the time they can start. They told me just to go in and comfort him (ideally without picking him up) until he falls back asleep. {I have been doing just that for the past week or so... I've lost track of how long he's been doing this.} Then if after a couple more nights he's still doing this... I'm supposed to call them back.

I almost cried when they said he possibly could be having bad dreams. What is my sweet, happy, loving baby having bad dreams about? Having his nose suctioned? Being put in his car seat? Milo's life has been pretty awesome. Those are the only things we do that upset him. If hasn't experienced anything else in his life that is scary... how would his mind dream that? Do you know what I'm saying?

Its definitely wearing on me. I'm really tired. Nathan came home for lunch and made me feel better. Its hard for him, too because there's little he can do except let me nap on the weekends. I know all of you parents out there already know this too well... but its so hard when there's a problem and you don't know how to fix it. You feel helpless. Although... I need to remember this problem is very very tiny. There are other parents with bigger, much scarier problems that they don't know how to fix. I'm grateful that this is the extent of our 'problems.' But when you're sleep deprived... it just seems like it'll never end.

And on top of already being tired... the PT today made a comment in passing that Milo's feeding issues "might just be who he is." Not good enough. I don't think she was giving up. We're going to see her one more time because we go to the next plan... I'm not sure what the next plan is but we'll find out Friday. But... I'm not ready to give up yet. As I've said before though... we'll be fine as long as he teeth don't come in yet. I'm praying Milo is a late teether. That's really what's going to dictate how much longer we can nurse.

When I grow up

This week is full of play dates. Today our friend Valerie and her baby girl Frances came over. Frances is about two weeks younger than Milo. Valerie and I met in our newborn group and have a lot in common. I definitely enjoyed today's visit. And she brought homemade pesto for us... YUM!! Tomorrow we're planning on getting together with my friend Kendra and her baby girl Sadie. Wednesday we're hopefully going to see our friends that are family friends from WV. Then Thursday some moms from our newborn group are going to meet at an orchard. So its sure to be a great week.

I've been trying to do some more reading about the night waking and I'm finding that its 'normal.' Babies will go through stages. Milo's current issues are new... and I have a feeling if we stay patient... they'll pass. You just never know what is going on in their little bodies... teething, growth spurt, insecurity, etc.

Ok... on to something new. What do I want to be when I grow up? Before, my answer was always "a mom." And now that I am, it is truly more amazing than I thought it would be. And while I'll be a mom forever... there will come a day when I will be working again. So when that time comes... what do I want to do?

I've thought about going back to school... but I have yet to find a program that I feel drawn to. And I have some stipulations. I want a career that will allow me to work from home with some flexibility. When Milo and any future child/children are/is in school... I still want to be home when he gets home... to be available to volunteer at the school and be present at classroom parties. If my kids are sick or forget their lunch... I want to be there. And at the same time, I want to do something I am passionate about. Yes, I want to also make some money. I want to find the balance between family, work, money, and a passion.

Well folks... I think I found it. I finally have an answer for What do you want to be when you grow (post Mom)... A Lactation Consultant. After going through our breast feeding troubles... I learned how valuable breast feeding support is. And sadly, there are lot of communities that are lacking that level of support. Sometimes... I needed hard core 'technical' support... and other times I just needed to hear... it will get better. It would be an honor to someday pass that support on to other women.

I've been doing some preliminary research into becoming board certified. And the great part is... there are things I can be doing now to start preparing. Just doing some shadowing/volunteering will help expand my knowledge and verify this is what I want to pursue. Then... once Milo is a bit older I can start really getting serious about taking the classes and workshops, etc. And after I become a LC... then I can also pursue other certifications like childbirth education, etc. if I want.

It feels good to finally have an idea of what I want to "do" when I get back to my working years. :)

Sleep

Our current parenthood battle is sleep. The last few nights have been rough... there were tears... from me. But today I have regained confidence and perspective on the subject. We tried the "controlled crying" method. It worked quickly the first two times he woke during the night. I hated it. I was seriously on the floor crying. But he wakes so frequently during the night (after the end of each sleep cycle which is like every 45 min- hour) that if I let him cry himself back to sleep... he'd end up crying all night.

I truly want Milo to have healthy sleep habits and be an independent sleeper. I think that is very important. But... I think mothers are also led to believe that your baby should be sleeping through the night ASAP. That's an unrealistic and sometimes unhealthy expectation. Every baby is different. For some families the "controlled crying" method works. And that's fine. But Milo is a snuggly baby. He is a lover. He needs reassurance when he wakes up. And he is a bigger baby with a higher caloric need. He may not be able to go 7-8 hours between feedings during the night.

After giving it a lot of thought and consideration... We are going to go back to the more nurturing route. When he wakes up crying, we will go in and settled him back to sleep... with the goal of not having to pick him up to do so. I couldn't do it when he was a week old, and I can't do it now... When Milo needs something emotional or physical... I want him to know that he can count on his mom and dad to meet those needs. And that's not to say that if you use the controlled crying method you aren't meeting your child's needs. I just know that Milo has more of a need for nurturing than other babies.

A friend of mine whose oldest son is now 16, reminded me that there will be a day... that will come too soon... when you can't hold them in your arms and rock them anymore.

On a more positive note... Milo enjoyed the peas I made for him... and LOVED the pumpkin he had today.

Oh and we did move the crib into his bedroom finally. All I can say is thank goodness for video monitors!!!

First of all, I haven't really slacked off on the feeding. I was eating yogurt and Milo got excited when he saw the spoon. And his bm's are actually super easy to clean and manage with cloth diapers. LOL I know... I'm just a mom not ready for her baby boy to grow up.

Milo had his second PT appointment today. After talking to a lactation consultant and a speech therapist, the conclusion is that his clamping is because of his hyperactive gag reflex. We knew he had a sensitive reflex... he's always gagged really easily... sometimes while nursing or while sucking his fingers. But that makes sense. The nipple is supposed to go fairly far into the baby's mouth. Milo doesn't like that so he pushes it out and uses his gums. Our PT is going to try some cranial stretching stuff... but if that doesn't work after one more visit, she's going to bring in someone else. I feel like we've taken a giant step in the right direction.

I've tried to do some reading about the subject online and have found very little. I think its fair to say most women would not have made it this far going through our nursing troubles. But I wonder how often this occurs but goes unrecognized. I've really had to keep pushing for answers and solutions. Breastfeeding is very important to me, personally. And now, we'll keep pushing into we figure out how to fix the problem. That's also probably why Milo still feels so-so about the pacifier... and why it took so long to take to it as little as he does. I am, however, surprised we haven't seen an effects of this in starting solids.

We got the diaper rash to clear up with using plain water to clean his bottom, lots of airing out time, and extra frequent diaper changes. Now... we're just having sleeping issues. But I'm going to continue to be patient. I don't think its crib vs. bed related. He woke up just as frequently while in bed with me. I don't know if he needs reassurance or what. I'm just glad its the weekend... Nathan sometimes lets me nap on the weekends!! :)

TMI

Milo was definitely 'ready' to start solids... but I think I may be pulling back on the reins a bit. Milo had his first diaper rash today. And (Caution potential TMI) naturally his bm's are changing. Before I could clearly hear when Milo had a bm, but now I can't. Of course I change his diaper regularly, but it doesn't take long for the mixing of #1 and #2 to cause a rash, especially now that its more like real poop. With cloth diapers, you have to use special diaper rash cream to keep the diapers working properly.

It may be me hanging on to my baby... in fact it is me hanging on to my baby before he grows right on out of my arms. But I'm gong to ease up on the baby food, and maybe just do it two or three times a week just to keep him used to it. I want those sweet smelling baby poops back. :/

Growing Like a... Dandelion

I don't like relating my baby to a weed... so I decided to say 'growing like a dandelion'... at least dandelions are pretty weeds!

Milo had his first PT appointment today. I was very happy with the PT we went to. Its not the same one I went to when I was pregnant... that one specializes in women's health. The PT Milo saw today does more work with babies and children. She did a very thorough evaluation of Milo. She asked me a lot of questions about his development and growth. Then she evaluated him from head to toe, checking his range of motion and what not. She came to the conclusion that he may have some tightness in his neck and jaw on the right side, but she said it was minor.

However, she did find that he would not allow her to touch the roof of his mouth (with a glove on of course.) He kept pushing it out with his tongue then he'd clamp down. Ah Ha!! That's what he does when nursing. Babies are supposed to have the nipple between their tongue and the roof of their mouth. Milo is obviously not doing that. The problem is we don't know why he isn't doing that. She is going to meet with our lactation consultant tomorrow and they are going to brainstorm and see if they can figure out why Milo isn't nursing properly. She still wants to see him a time or two to do some stretches to make sure its not related to that minor jaw tightness. We are more determined now than ever before... I just feel the clock ticking. We're fine at the moment, its just those teeth that scare me at this point. We'll be fine if he ends up being a late teether.

Growing Like a Weed

The last few nights have gone SO well!! We have been able to put Milo in his crib drowsy, but still awake. We might have to put his pacifier back in a few times over a 20 minutes period... but for the most part... our bedtimes are very pleasant. I know we will likely have set backs along the way when it comes to sleep, but he is really doing very well. He is also sleeping for longer stretches which I am definitely enjoying. The swaddling is hit or miss. Sometimes he needs it, but other times he cries making it clear how ticked off he is that he is swaddled. We really just try to read his needs for that particular moment.

Milo's eating continues to go very well. He has now had cereal, banana, prunes, pears, and sweet potatoes. He really liked the sweet potatoes. Tomorrow we'll be trying avocado. And his cereal this morning was on the thicker side... not super thick, but not too runny. Milo is showing now dissatisfaction when it comes to the new tastes or textures we've been introducing. We'll continue with the jarred food for the next few weeks... then I'll start pureeing most of his fruits and veggies.

We are definitely seeing more and more of Milo's personality coming through. He is very, very loving. He now gives kisses. He'll open his mouth real wide and lean in to wipe his slobbery face on yours. Its SOOOO sweet. I just love it. Today when Nathan came home, he almost immediately leaned in to kiss him. As much as we smooch that kid... I'm not surprised by this. And Milo is also becoming very chatty. This afternoon it was talk talk talk talk talk for probably 40 minutes non stop. I thought for sure he was going to wake up Anya from her nap.

And Milo's favorite songs these days are Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes (first sung in English, then Japanese), Itsy Bitsy Spider, I'm a Little Teacup, and Skinamirinkydinkydink (sp?) Milo is also laughing more frequently... still usually at Daddy. As long as I get those smoochies... I'm OK with that.

Tomorrow morning Milo has his first PT appointment. I'll be surprised if this really gets him to stop clamping, but we are willing to try anything. PT definitely helped me when I was pregnant... so we'll see.

I guess that's about it. Not much else is new in the Morgan home. We're just enjoying the fall weather and spending every waking moment with our Boo Bear.

Big Boy, Little Boy, Mountaineer

Milo's "big boy" eating is continuing to go well... however he is still sleeping like a "little boy." We have pretty much made the transition to regular crib sleeping. But Milo was still waking frequently. I don't regret letting Milo sleep in the swing during those first five weeks. It was survival. He was sleeping; I was sleeping. At the time that was the most important thing. Because of that... he still doesn't sleep great flat. He wakes up and his arms fly up in the air. Not really like the moro/startle reflex... more like a 'Ah no one is holding me and I feel insecure' kind of flailing. So last night we decided to try swaddling him. It definitely help him sleep better. He was still up every two hours, but definitely seemed much more secure. I ran into the nursery probably four or five times after putting him down, and finally decided to swaddle him again. He did wake up crying one more time, but immediately stopped and feel back asleep on his own in a matter of seconds. I really don't mind swaddling him if that's what he needs. As I've said before, as long as he is getting sleep, I'm getting sleep, and we're making baby steps towards good sleep habits, I'm satisfied.

Today we ran down to the outlets to do some shopping for a few things. Nathan bough some new socks. I bought some new shoes... Molly style Crocs. And we bought Milo some more of our favorite onsies in the next size up {50% off}, and we bought Milo his first pair of shoes. Milo was given a pair and we had some that were Nathan's when he was little... but Milo's feet were too big at birth... they never fit. And we went with 6-9 month size. They're a little big, but right now they are just to add an extra layer on his feet in the cold... its always good to buy stuff with a little extra growing room.

And we finally settled on Milo's first Halloween costume. I really want to make his first costume. But we just couldn't decide on his costume. We thought of everything from an astronaut to a banana. We finally settled on the costume we had originally planned on making before he was born... a little Mountaineer... as in the West Virginia University mascot. I went to the fabric store this evening and bought three types of fabric to make his pants and jacket, the fringe, and a "coon" skin hat. And since I only needed small quantities of each, it only cost $8. Now I am not a fan of guns. But... the Mountaineer fires his gun at every WVU sporting event... its almost a must. So I am going to make a paper mache muzzle loader or rifle or whatever kind of gun he carries. :) Oh and Nathan is insisting he have a beard. We were trying to come up with a brown substance that we could use to paint a little scruff on his face... we came up with chocolate. I'm still going to try to get Nathan to give up on the beard, but we'll see. And my newborn group is having a Halloween potluck so we can show off all of our dressed up babies. I'm so excited.

OK. Time for bed. Good night everyone!

Yum Yum

We did it! Milo had his first "bowl" of cereal this evening. I just couldn't wait until morning. Milo did great. He LOVED it! He truly could not get enough. Since I don't pump or have any milk stored, I mixed water with the rice cereal. But who wants bland, watery rice cereal? So I may have snuck in a little banana puree to give it a little sweetness to resemble breastmilk. Like I said before, we're going to take is slow and just do a little bit of cereal/first foods a couple times a day. The majority of his nutrition will still come from breastfeeding. Then once he gets closer to the 6 month mark we'll step it up and start introducing more foods and in greater quantities.

Firsts

Well... It looks like tomorrow we will be giving cereal a try with Milo. The best advice I read on the subject said to pay attention to your baby's cues not the calendar. "They" say babies can start anywhere between 4-6 months, sometimes sooner or later. Based on what I've read, I think Milo may very well be ready. I did kind of a test this morning. I expressed some breast milk then tried to feed it to him with a spoon. Boy did he like that. He even started opening his mouth as soon as he would see the spoon. And most of the milk made it down. And he really didn't seem to be trying to push the spoon out of his mouth. Now I know milk is liquid, but the first cereal is going to be super runny also. Milo is over 3 1/2 months... add two weeks considering he was two weeks late and that's 4 months. And so far he has been ahead of the game with everything else. So we're going to give it a shot tomorrow morning. But we plan on taking it slow. We'll start and take our time with the easy first fruits and veggies... and hold off on some of the more complex foods until 6 months. And my plan is to make the majority of the fruit and veggie purees myself... depending on the seasons and availability of quality produce. I also plan on making my own yogurt which apparently is fairly simple... although I'll hold off on the yogurt until 6 months. I'll let you know how Milo's first cereal goes! It will be sad to say good bye to those sweet smelling newborn poops once solids are introduced... woops... did I just say that out loud????

Last night Milo slept in his crib all night with the exception of about an hour when I was just too tired. He did wake up several times, but I'd either nurse him or put his pacifier in or turn him on his side and he'd go back to sleep. We are having a problem though with Nathan's alarms in the morning. I make him turn them off so they don't wake up Milo... but then Nathan ends up over sleeping. So I think this weekend we're going to move Milo's crib to the nursery and I'll sleep on the single bed next time the crib. My mom mentioned he probably doesn't need me to sleep next to the crib, but I still need him close to me. But it'll be good to get him into his nursery now before he really realizes the difference between Mommy's room and Milo's room. And then once he's waking less during the night... I'll go back to our bedroom.

I also tried to Milo in his crib to nap today and that did NOT work. I realized Milo does not associate laying on his back to sleep. That's play. I'm not sure how I'll get him to start napping in his crib, but one major thing at a time!! As long as he fits the swing... I'm OK with him napping in the swing.

September

September if absolutely flying by!! The leaves are quickly changing and falling. It seems like it was only a week ago that I was praying for June to get here already. And here we are... nearing the end of September.

We made it our newborn group today for the first time in a few weeks. We made at a local park, so I was able to take Anya with me. (You may notice I go back in forth between mom's group and newborn group. Its all the same... I just call it different things with different people.) It was SO nice to be back. I really missed it. As soon as Milo and I walked up to the group, no one could believe how big Milo was. There are several babies that are a few weeks older than Milo and still look like cute little babies. Milo looks HUGE compared to them. And I don't mean this in a bragging way... but several of them just rolled over for the first time today. Milo was about 8 weeks old when he rolled for the first time. I have no clue why Milo is so big and 'mature' for his age, but that's how its been since day one. I remember my lactation consultant looked at Milo at about one week of age and said that is NOT a newborn baby. And there were a couple brand new babies. They were SOOO tiny. It was hard to believe Milo was ever that small. It makes me just a little sad that he's growing so fast. I need him to slow down just a little bit.

I also got to talk to my lactation consultant today. We had a conversation about how things are going. We're thinking the next step may be to try some physical therapy. I guess this is more often seen in csection babies, but sometimes a baby's jaw muscles can be too tight... which is going to affect how they open and latch. I don't know how you do PT on an infant's jaw, but we'll give it a shot!

I guess that's about it. Anya caught her first cold from school... so I've been trying to keep her nose wipes and everything sanitized. And I've been pumping that OJ!

Yesterday

Last night Milo finally rolled from his tummy to his back. Its so unusual that he rolled from back to belly at 8 weeks, but its taken him this long to go from belly to back. And he did it so quietly. No fussing... he just gently tilted his head and rolled. Of course, we were so proud. I picked him up and started cheering like a fool. Milo was so funny as he just stared at me, completely unaware of what he did.

Yesterday evening, I enjoyed a "mom's night out" with some ladies from my newborn group. This is was just dinner, so I thought I'd go for about an hour. Some of their evenings are pretty... wild. And that wasn't for me before Milo. And if I'm going to be away from Milo... its certainly not to 'party.' But I did really enjoy dinner last night. And of course, what did we talk about? Our babies and labor!

Its definitely cold season up here. I'm hearing about tons of kids with congestion and colds. Its time to really start pumping that OJ! That means its also time to go nuts with the (natural) hand cleaner and avoid shopping at peak hours. I know Milo will eventually get his first cold, which is fine. That's how we build immune systems, but I do hope we can hold it off for a while.

And last night I had a first. In BG, I used to really enjoy thunderstorms. The thunder would just boom and roll across the sky. Well last night, we warnings of a severe storm moving in. And all of sudden I feared storms. On the Western side of the state they had winds up to 75 MPH. And the warning on the TV said get indoors and stay away from windows. Of course, Milo was asleep in his crib... which is in the corner of the room between two windows. Once the storm moved in there was constant lightening, the electricity went in and out. I felt like a caged lion. I couldn't decide if Milo was safer in his crib, in bed with me, asleep in the swing in the living room?!?!?! I was mostly worried about a tree falling on our house. And if it did, it would fall right on our bedroom. Anyway... I tried to stay calm (sitting wide awake next to the crib) and the storm really moved through fairly quickly. I did put Milo in bed with me after he woke up. I just needed him in my arms after all of that.

Happy Monday

My friend Lauren had her baby this morning! Its so much more exciting... knowing the joy a new parent is in for. WELCOME TO THE WORLD BABY AIDEN! {He's a cutie!!}

Milo is currently asleep in his crib! Last night Milo seemed to be doing some major teething... I think I already told you that. Anyway... he slept in bed with me just because I knew he was uncomfortable. But tonight... we are back to sleeping in the crib for as long as possible without causing any stress.

Nursing is going well again. Still not 100% but fine. I stopped "sleep nursing" so when Milo needs to eat during the night, I actually sit up and feed him properly. I think that is making a big difference. This is kind of off the topic, but because Milo is so big and long... Nathan always says it looks like I'm nursing a toddler. :)

The biggest topic on my mind lately is future children. I know we still have some time to decide. But there are just so many more factors involved with IVF. We don't have a ten year span to have kids. And once we decide... that's final. And my mind changes hourly. I'll go from only wanting Milo to wanting five. But in all honesty, I think we are realistically deciding between one and two. And I think we will probably decide on two... probably fairly close in age. And really... we almost need to do it before we move away from this area. Dr. Shamma made our first experience wonderful and successful. I'd hate to have find another RE Dr. else where. I guess we'll just wait and see how life plays out over the next year or so.

I guess that's really all I have to blog about. Life is pretty great these days. OH Milo did finally laugh for Mommy!!! He would only laugh at Nathan... I don't know why?! I guess he just looks funnier. :) But he finally laughed for me this evening. Oh its just music to my ears.

OK. I hope everyone has a great week!

Balloons

Yesterday turned out to be a great day! We ended up going to the Balloon Festival. We made it out just in time to see the sky filled with balloons as they were landing near the airport/fairgrounds. Nathan made a comment about how funny it is that adults get just as excited, if not more, than kids to see hot air balloons. But its just so whimsical... people floating in the sky in baskets suspended from balloons?! Anyway... Milo wasn't too impressed until the night glow. We knew he'd like them based on how much he enjoys watching candles... and sure enough once they were lit up... he just watched and watched. It was a lot of fun. And we ran into our new friends that had the smore party the the other night, which again was so great. So we hung around and chit chatted with them for a while.

After the night glow we ran to the grocery store. We didn't get home until about 9:30. I figured Milo would nurse then go right to sleep. Nope. He was wide awake. He didn't end up falling asleep until about 10:40 or so. But he did sleep in his crib until 5:45!! When he woke up at that point, I 'rewarded' him with a snuggle in bed with Momma. He then woke up around 7:30 for a little bit... now he's back asleep in the swing. I am definitely hopeful about crib sleeping, but I still think being patient and not stressing about it is going to be our best bet for a smooth transition.

Last night was kind of a loooong night. Milo was up, crying every hour or so. I even had him in bed with me and he still wasn't happy. I figured either his leg is sore from the shot (my arm is a bit sore too) or else he's teething. I'm thinking its more likely teething. But we got through the night and a little tylenol helped as well as some homeopathic teething tablets. And he's had a pretty good day.

This afternoon we decided to go swimming with Milo. When I say we went swimming, I mean I put on my bathing suit and Milo and I got in the bathtub. :) It was a lot of fun. Milo just loves the water!! And thankfully he refrained from pooping in the tub. Tomorrow will be Daddy's turn to "swim" with Milo.

And we sold Nathan's old TV today. We're trying to cut the 'stuff' and see if we can get a little extra $$ in. I'm also planning on consigning some of the clothes Milo didn't wear for whatever reason.... scratchy tag, weird fit, etc. The good stuff we're definitely saving for any future Morgans that may come.

Tonight we're hoping to go to the Balloon Festival assuming the weather is ok. They're having another night glow, which I think Milo will really enjoy. Every town we've lived in (with the exception of Memphis... not sure if they have a Balloon Festival) has had a Balloon Festival. I think that's going to be a requirement for the town we 'settle' in.

My longest childhood friend, Lauren, is over due with her first baby... a boy! She's scheduled to be induced tomorrow evening. I'm SOOO excited for her. Knowing the joy that is soon to fill her world... its just so wonderful. And of course we are praying for a smooth, healthy delivery. {Its so neat... our mom's were pregnant with us at the same time 25 years ago... and now within a few months of one another they are becoming Grandma's!}

Sleeping, Safe, Smores

So the transition is going to be just that... a transition. I know its not going to happen over night and that is OK. I'm in no hurry. My goal is to get a few hours in the crib each night. Eventually he should get comfortable sleeping in it. But I'll tell you... there's nothing better than snuggling in with Milo at 4:00 in the morning. {He's currently asleep in the crib. YAY!)

This afternoon we made a quick trip to the doctor's office. I noticed a new, weird bump on Milo's head. It was just like a goose egg... and only one one side. Just to be safe than sorry, I called the doctor's office. And on their part to be safe than sorry... they had us come in. Dr. G was confident its just his skull shifting and nothing to be concerned about. I figured that was the case, but it was good to get the confirmation so I could quit touching it and wondering. I did get a weight update... 16# 4 with clothes on. So I imagine he clothes weighed a few ounces... so he's right at 16 pounds. I seriously cannot keep up with him. His pants today were Old Navy 6-12 months... and they fit him perfectly?! He's definitely a healthy, growing boy! I don't know what percentile that is... but I'm confident its way up there on the charts. I saw a 5 month old leave the office today that looked tiny next to Milo?! Funny stuff.

This evening we went to the home of a mom I met at our mom's group for a smore party! We had a really great time. We really like this family. They have two kids, one of which is a 6 month old named Oliver! And they have a Moby and an Ergo. That's my kind of family!! But really... we enjoyed getting to know this couple and hope there is a friendship blooming. I also have tentative plans with another mom from mom's group for a play date in a couple weeks. Its nice to be meeting some new people. I think I'm also going to a mom's night out planned by some girls from the mom's group this week. Its dinner and drinks, but I will just go for maybe an hour for dinner. I don't have much of a desire to be away from Milo and Nathan... and I am not into the drinking thing. But the dinner part should still be fun.

Co-Sleeping

While I am VERY happy with my decision to co-sleep, I think I am ready to get him transitioned back to the crib. There are a few reasons: He's becoming very dependent on the sleep nursing... which may be contributing to my new 'cracks.' He's also getting big and taking up more and more room in the bed. And I don't remember Nathan coming to bed last night, or getting out of bed in the morning. I called him this morning at 7:30 worried that he got into an accident or something on his way home from work last night (he had to go back in to prepare for a meeting today.) That means I am starting to sleep sounder... which isn't safe for Milo. So I think tonight we'll put the side back on the crib and separate the bed and crib. I'll still keep the crib beside the bed... just not right up against the bed. We'll see how it goes! While Milo and I both love to snuggle... we all need our space sometimes. And I want to make sure Milo has that.

Piece of Cake

I thought I'd take a quite minute and blog while both kiddos are napping. Milo's shot today went super well. I got my shot first and barely felt a thing which assured me that we had a good poker! I had intentions of nursing Milo while he got the shot, but I realized it was unnecessary. She did a quick poke... Milo gave a HEY! kind of a fuss for about 1 second and was fine. Not a single tear. And he's had a great day since then. I know you still have to watch for side effects for a few days, but so far so good. I am very glad we are doing one shot at a time. While Milo did fine with one poke, I'd hate to see him get multiple pokes in one sitting. And I feel good about our choice to do an alternative schedule. I feel like Milo is so much stronger now than at 8 weeks when he normally would have gotten several. Oh and that's without Tylenol. I wanted to be able to watch for any signs of fever or discomfort, then give Tylenol if necessary, which in Milo's case it was not necessary. I also had an ice pack to ice the area, but again... Milo hasn't shown any signs that he needs that. All in all I'd say Milo's first vaccine was a piece of cake!

Vaccine

Milo is going in for his first vaccine, the DTaP (Diphtheria, Tetanus, and Pertussis) in about a half hour. I am also getting the adult TDaP booster. I am terribly nervous. I'm not worried about the poke at all. My nervousness is Milo having a side effect from the shot. Sure. The severe side effects are rare... but its still scary. I took Milo's temp a few minutes ago to verify no notable illness or anything abnormal. And I've said multiple prayers that the vaccine would offer his body protection and not be toxic in any way to his body.

So I talked to Dr. Jones' nurse today. Basically, she kept assuring me that if Dr. Jones thought it needed immediate attention, he would be taking immediate action. And the PET scan didn't show anything else abnormal in any other part of my body, so I think we'll just wait and see what the CT scan shows in a few months.

The next thing to deal with is the continued nursing problems. Things have definitely improved significantly. I was still have some mild pain, but it was tolerable. Milo is still clamping and chomping. We know he is not tongue tied, its not my milk flow, and its not positioning. I just do not have any clue why he continues to clamp. And I noticed some blood this evening, so apparently I've got another crack. Great. Boy is this super frustrating. I'm going to try and really exhaust all my resources, but if we can't figure it out... we'll have to move on to pumping/bottle feeding. I really, really don't want to. I mean, the most important thing to me is that he is still getting breast milk, but what a hassle!! I love having the milk ready on hand at any second... and not having any dishes to wash. I'll do what I have to do, but I really, really, really hope we can get Milo to stop clamping. And I'm not strongly opposed to formula... but its just not the same as breast milk. We'll see what we can figure out!

Morning Blog

Ah. Nothing like being up at 6:00 am. Most nights, Milo will go to bed, sleep nurse a couple time during the night, and sleep until 8 or so. Occasionally he'll wake up before then and just be awake. He's still yawning, but for whatever reason he's awake. If I can't get him back to sleep after 10-15 minutes in bed, then I'll take him out in the living room and let him swing for a little while... then he falls back asleep and I'll take him back to bed. During this time, I've found its great for blogging.

Anya has started her morning preschool program. So Milo and I will now pick her up from school around 11:15 and bring her back to my house until about 4:30. Yesterday was our first day doing so and it worked out wonderfully. Anya seemed happy when I picked her up from school, ate a great lunch, took a nice nap, and seemed to enjoy herself. Milo always loves having Anya near. I'm definitely very pleased with this arrangement.

Milo is 13 weeks old now, and growing so fast. I can't wait until his 4 month appointment to see how much he has grown. We were looking back at pictures from the hospital... and was so little. It reaffirmed how much we need to cherish these early days while he's still small. His sweet personality comes out more and more each day. Lately he's been sucking his thumb, sometimes with his pointer finger in there, too... and with the other hand he'll play with his hair. He also loves getting kisses. He opens his mouth super wide to kiss us back. Oh its so wet and sweet! He still loves his blankies and likes to have them snuggled up to his face while he sleeps. And he still loves being naked and gettin' "spanks" when we change his diaper. :)

I'm waiting on a call back from Dr. Jones' nurse today. I'm going to have a conversation with her and see if I can get my questions answered more definitively. I've had many people suggest a second opinion... which I may do if I am not satisfied with the answers I get today. Some of my questions are, Did they grow at all since the last scan? Did the PET show anything else questionable elsewhere? Is it common for something to light up but not be cancerous? Are there any other tests that can be done to rule out cancer 100% like a blood test? Did the radiologist confirm? If not cancer, then what? I wish I had asked these questions when I first talked to Dr. Jones, but like I said, he called in the middle of a nap. I just don't know if I can be satisified with I don't think its cancerous. I'd rather hear, it is not cancerous. I just don't want to let this go, then five years down the road have something else spring up that could have been caught early. You know?

I guess that's about it for now. Have a great Wednesday! Oh and Milo gets his first vaccination tomorrow morning. I'm not too concerned as we are only getting one. Hopefully it'll be a quick poke then we'll be on our way.

Got the call...

Dr. Jones finally called... of course while I was in the middle of a GREAT nap! I heard what he said, but I was a little groggy. Anyway... he said the new nodules did light up on the scan, the old one did not, but they were diffused and kind of non-specific. Dr. Jones didn't think they appeared cancerous. So that is GREAT news. But he does want to do another CT scan in 2-4 months. While I am grateful for a good report, I wish it were a bit more black and white and not so gray. I wish they didn't light up at all and that I didn't need another scan. I feel like there's still some lingering unknowns. I have a list of questions that I'll call back and ask... but for now we can thank God for good news! And thank you again for your love, support, and prayers.

Still waiting.

Well... I was hoping we would get the results yesterday, but we didn't. They said he'd call this weekend, so I can only assume the call should come today since its the last day of the weekend.

We ended up only being short on milk by 2 ounces. So he had a 2 ounce bottle of formula. I had two Similac samples and decided to go with the soy formula because it said its easier on the tummy. Milo did fine with it. It did give him formula breathe which I did not like. And it made him have a stinky diaper! This goes without saying, but we were both SO happy to be nursing again.

I am definitely feeling great. No more fevers! I'm glad that's over with. And thank goodness I didn't get Milo, Nathan, Mom, or Dad sick!!

Aside from us all being glued to my cell phone... we've been enjoying my parent's company. I think Milo has especially enjoyed it. He looks at his grandparents with such loving eyes. Its so sweet! OH and since mom was up here during the Little Angels Attic Sale (a massive children's consignment sale in BG that benefits community charities) 'Grandpa' went for us and found two nice warm winter hats and a flannel sheet for Milo. Any man willing to enter those doors truly loves his child/grandchild. It can get crazy. But he also helped set up so he was able to shop early.

Oh and on Friday I got my haircut for the first time in 16 weeks! Boy did I need it. My hair was the longest its been in a long time and a mess. And when it gets long it just falls out like crazy. I ended up getting an adorable chin length cut that's a little stacked in the back. Its simple, cute, and easy... the perfect mommy cut. But apparently the hair falling out is more hormone related... because I'm still shedding. From what I understand... that's normal post baby stuff.

I guess that's about it. We plan to go for a drive over to the 'thumb' of Michigan to a fall festival today and see what we can get into. Sitting around the house 'waiting' is not an option. If nothing else, this has been a great reminder not to waste time... because you never know what's around the corner.

Dr. Jones' office called yesterday to say the results of my PET were in, but he still needed to review the results, then he would contact me. I guess he usually does this on the weekends, but knowing my situation, they put a note on his desk to go ahead and take care of mine in case he comes back into the office early. And even if he doesn't, hopefully he'll move mine to the top of the pile. So I'm hoping to hear from him soon.

Its currently 3:50 am... and Milo only has 2 ounces of milk left. Hm. As little as he ate the first day, I thought there was no way he'd polish off all 52 ounces... but he did. So after those last 2 ounces... we'll have to do formula. We'll see how that goes. And I want to pump one more time right around 9:30, just to be certain I "pump'n dumped" for a full 48 hours. Fortunately, he doesn't eat that much in the mornings, so he may take those last 2 ounces and be fine until I can nurse him again. Oh I cannot wait!!

I did take Tylenol I think only once yesterday when I noticed my temp creeping up a bit, but for the most part... it seems to be gone. Hopefully it stays that way. My throat is pretty sore, but that seems to be it right now. Hopefully I'm at the tail end of whatever it was I was fighting. And, knock on wood and thank goodness, no one else seems to have caught it. I truly hope I am not talking too soon, but I really hope I was able to keep this to myself and not spread it to Nathan, mom, or most importantly Milo.

Ready to get back to normal...

Today was hard. I missed an entire day of my son's life. That stinks. My scariest thought is that if I am sick... I would miss out on so much of my son's life. Coming home was hard. He doesn't understand why I left him all day. And the hardest thing... he doesn't understand why I won't nurse him. It absolutely breaks my heart. I've had tears a few times today.

I'm glad the PET scan is over. Now I just need to get rid of whatever I'm fighting right now. This evening, I ended up with another fever 103.5! Fortunately the Tylenol brought it back down. I've also had a minor sore through, minor headache, and minor shortness of breathe. When I breathe, I feel like I've been exercising out in the cold... you know that feeling? I don't think it is related to the lung nodules... it would be too coincidental to have first symptoms at the same time as the scan. I think I just happened to pick up a bug elsewhere. But... it stinks!

I'm just ready to hear my good results, feel better, get through the 48 hours of pumping and dumping and get back to our wonderful life with our beautiful boo bear.

Please continue to pray. Boy... my mom thought the whole grandma thing was a walk in the park... she had no idea she'd be put to work so much. But I am SO GRATEFUL for her.

I am also grateful for my wonderful husband. He is such a great dad... he has really stepped up during this time. And he wrote me a beautiful note last night that I kept in my pocket all day. I couldn't have hand picked a more amazing man.