Day Fifteen

This is a picture of a few of my follicles. Inside each of the little black pocket contains a microscopic egg.

After Monday, Dr. Shamma decided to double my dosage... which meant we had to buy more drugs... not cool. But what is cool... is that the double dosage is working. Today's report is that I now have over 19 follicles measuring well. Lori said that there were more she just didn't measure them all. 12 was a good number. 19+ is a better number. And its interesting because one ovary is producing many more eggs than the other. Lori said it could just be that this month I would naturally be releasing an egg from my left ovary, so that's why the left side is responding more to the meds.

And while a bunch of eggs is the goal... it will mean that many more pokes into my ovaries, equaling more pain and recovery time after the procedure. But... I'm ready for. I can take it. I know it'll be worth it.

I know that when you look at the picture of the follicles, you just see... something that you don't really understand or just some black pockets. But when I look at each of those follicles... I see hope. I see potential. I see each of those as possibly becoming my baby. Its weird to see that. Most people's pregnancy journey starts maybe four or five weeks after conception. My journey is different. I have loved my baby/babies for a while now. And seeing those follicles... I just feel so maternally attached to those microscopic eggs because of what I pray they will become. So to me... that picture truly represents hope.

And this summer, we finally decided its time to really get plugged into our church. So we began going to a "small church" which is just kind of like Sunday school. But we've enjoyed getting to meet some really great couples. And even though our attendance has still been choppy with the different trips and visitors we've had this summer, we're getting to see what this group of people is about. One couple invited us to dinner next week and I kind of explained that next week is a bit uncertain for us. The next email that came was offering meals next week. My first inclination was... oh no that's not necessary. But then he said it would bless them to do that for us. So I said that maybe dinner on the evening of the retrieval and the following day would be nice since I will have to stay off my feet. That really touched me. Sometimes its hard to accept that kind of kindness; sometimes you have to receive to be a better giver.